Yesterday we had a blast until late hours at the freshman welcoming party in the residence. We're three freshman girls in the residence: me, Flavia and Barbara (who went to the same highschool than I did!! Her face was familiar but I failed to understand that she was from there, I'M SO ASHAMED - and even kind of regretful for not knowing her before - because she seems to be such a sweet person too!). Though I was quiet most of the time, I had a lot of fun. I was really happy seeing how they were like a big, huge, family. I'm not used to this kind of familiar aura. I want to, though. ;w;
I love everyone, they're just so sweet.
I just feel so bad that I'm such an introvert being that probably makes everyone feel awkward TwT
Flavia is really nice and everyone likes her a lot already, including me. She has that outgoing aura that makes her and Barbara (the younger sister of another girl living here, Mariana, I still have to tell you guys about these two ~ ;w;) much more enjoyable to talk to and being around with than me. I feel really really happy for them. But I won't deny that I've become a much more quiet and weird person ever since I got here.
It's like I left a huge part of me back in Leiria. Most of which consisted in what is considered enjoyable in my persona. Being loud, carefree, selfless, outgoing, warm, being able to talk to everyone and hug everyone and make a lot of different people smile. As in, being less of the creepy anti-social wanderer that I've been acting like here.
I was so proud of who I used to be.
Who I still am, nonetheless.
I just feel like I am another person ever since I've come to Lisbon. I barely open my mouth. I look and AM lost, somehow. I've been wondering if it's because most people don't know much about me. Don't know stuff that people in Leiria have gradually learned and welcomed (and even cherished), but that could be perceived diferently in a place like this, or in a place where people don't know me well enough to not overthink these things. I'm guessing most of you know what I'm talking about. Because, hello, this is a catholic residence.
So, I'm scared; a little bit. Okay, quite a bit. I admit I teared up a bit thinking about this kind of things in the past weeks.
I really don't want to leave this place. I want to gradually get to know the girls, specially the two sisters and my roomate, become great friends with them, let them know that I'm much more than the weird castaway and ignorant person I appear to be so far. I want to feel part of this whole family too.
Let's hope the lonewolf/weakling/ignorant outside appearance will gradually wear off! ~
